SERIALISED FACEACHE STORIES – PART TWO: ONE-BOY SURVIVAL COURSE ADVENTURE

The next story arch was the longest of all - it spanned six weeks and can be found in BUSTER issues cover-dated 28th January, 1978 to 4th March, 1978. It is one of the craziest of the lot and is a favourite of mine…

Headmaster sends Faceache for 7 days to Bleak Rock Island on a one-boy survival course. Mr. Snipe gets an assignment to go together. Headmaster leaves the pair on the island without food or drink. The engine and the steering wheel of Mr. Thrashbottom's boat break and he heads for America. Headmaster is the only one who knows that Faceache and Mr. Snipe are all alone on the rock island.

Mr. Snipe only has one can of beans but his tin opener is in the pack that’s left on Headmaster’s boat. Mr. Snipe discards the beans but Fecache picks up the tin… 

Faceache scrunges sharp gnashers and opens the tin; he then scrunges into mouse-size so that he can survive on the beans for weeks. Unable to find Faceache on the island, Mr. Snipe thinks he must have plunged from the cliff to destruction. 

Meanwhile, headmaster’s boat runs out of fuel and he is now helpless and adrift, with nothing to eat but canned custard. A large ship appears on the horizon. It’s a luxury liner with Dad on board. Dad thinks Mr. Thrashbottom is too enjoying life on a long cruise, and sails off, never to be seen again. 

Dad's last ever appearance in the Faceache saga

Mr. Thrashbottom tries to force himself to eat the canned custard but it turns out that Mr. Snipe has stowed the wrong cans aboard because they contain Matron’s Bests Pimple Lotion for Schoolboys.

Starved Mr. Thrashbottom

Mr. Snipe gone potty...

Seven weeks pass; Mr. Snipe and the headmaster are starved, ravenous and barmy, while Faceache has grown fat from eating beans. Headmaster’s boat drifts back to Bleak Rock Island...

Headmaster and Mr. Snipe have turned cannibalistic and threaten to eat each other. Witnessing the frightful sight of their encounter, Faceache scrunges into a monster and makes the two jump into sea. Concerned that they will drown, Faceache saves them and flies them back to the school clinic for medical attention. 

Back at Belmonte, trouble is brewing: an official from the educational authority comes to see how the school is run… 

Inspector Snoop sees that Mr. Snipe's class are like mad beasts in their teacher’s long absence. Meanwhile, Faceache lands in the school grounds with Mr. Snipe and the Headmaster in his claws... 

The two teachers are starved and look like pipe-cleaners, while the unscrunged Faceache resembles a suet dumpling. Inspector canes Mr. Thrashbottom for being incapable of fending for himself on the island while the bright boy thrived on beans.

Headmaster has an idea to regain lost weight feeding his students on porridge for weeks and guzzling all the school grub himself. Fed up with porridge, Faceache frightens the school cook, who then mishandles the porridge dispenser and gets himself plastered in oatmeal. 

The cook rushes to Mr. Thrashbottom to report a monster in the dining hall but gets fired for wasting tons of porridge... 

With no more porridge left, Headmaster has no choice but to feed kids on what’s left of his grub.

Characters are © Rebellion Publishing Ltd

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